volcanogod. welcome to town.

04.17.2005, 4:43 pm

but i love target

=== © ===

why do i hate being helped so much?

yesterday jen and i went to melrose because i decided that i needed the following:

a) pants
b) messenger bag

i got none of the following:

a) pants
b) messenger bag

i don't think i'll ever be shopping on melrose again. possibly at the thrift stores that dot the street, but i will never set foot in a regular store there again, if possible. its such a trendy place, and it makes me sick. yeah, sure, the hipsters and punks are there too, and their presence comforts me somewhat, but even then, there are a lot of doucehbags there.

the sidewalks whisper, "i'm cooler than you, i'm cooler than you". ::vomits::

there are several other factors that go into my hating melrose shopping. since when is it cool for dudes to wear ass-tight pants? besides the fact that it's terribly uncomfortable and looks stupid anyway, it particularly looks stupid if you're not ten inches around all the way down. so not only am i presented with pants that are uncomfortable to wear and to look at to begin with, even if i wanted them i couldn't possibly pull them off. i'm kind of fat around the middle and my legs are... well, chickenlike. loose clothes make josh happy. tight clothes make josh kill himself. they're not my style, and if they were, they still wouldn't be.

prices. oh my god. now maybe my views are skewed because i dont go shopping much. and i certainly dont go for the trendiest looks on the rare occasion that i do. but since when is it even conceivable to pay $100 for a pair of jeans? i dont want to pay more than 20. i know thats a totally conservative estimate, and i'll bend in the face of reality, but one hundred damn dollars for ANY article of clothing, unless it's made from talking baby alligators and stitched together with cindy crawford's pubes, is too much.

and the help. oh, the help. are salespeople born without the part of their brain that warns them when they are in imminent danger? like, say, when they bug a customer to the point of snapping, effecting a bloodbath? i understand they're doing their job. but when you see a guy in your store, who is OBVIOUSLY uncomfortable, wouldn't you not want to scare him off?

we went into this one store, and a girl immediately swooped in to ask if she could help with anything. i started shaking my head and was about to say "just looking, thanks", when jen makes the rookie (if you're shopping with an uncomfortable dude) mistake of saying "jeans for this guy". ok, i'm willing to bite the bullet, maybe this chick can be helpful.

THEN.

then another broad with a foreign accent ninjas her way in, demanding to know what size. it was at about this point that i decided that i was done with the place. seconds later, we were out the door.

the worst thing i heard from a saleswoman was, in reference to a pair of jeans, "they're italian!"

what really makes me sick is that that matters to so many people. who fucking cares if they're italian? why would you say that? look at the way i'm dressed. does it look like i care about if something is italian?

i hate being helped if i dont ask for it. HATE IT. it bothers me so much that it sours my entire shopping experience, and i will leave a store if they bother me enough.

i didn't get a messenger bag because i actually didn't see any, surprisingly. maybe i wasn't looking hard enough. the only ones we saw were at the army surplus store on vine, and i may go back there and get one. they had two i liked; one was a paratrooper messenger bag, and one was a smaller medic pack. i'd sort of like a bag thats not that wide, but i'm afraid it'll look like a purse.

today i went to target by myself and bought two pairs of pants with no hassle. they fit better than anything on melrose, and they were cheaper, too. and i didn't have to put up with any brain-damaged nincompoops.

i'm considering getting this R2D2 messenger bag, or possibly the "ten ninjas" bag two down.

	it hurts
	«previous« = [ archive = new = profile = notes = email = host ] = »next» 04.17.2005, 4:43 pm but i love target === © === why do i hate being helped so much? yesterday jen and i went to melrose because i decided that i needed the following: a) pants b) messenger bag i got none of the following: a) pants b) messenger bag i don't think i'll ever be shopping on melrose again. possibly at the thrift stores that dot the street, but i will never set foot in a regular store there again, if possible. its such a trendy place, and it makes me sick. yeah, sure, the hipsters and punks are there too, and their presence comforts me somewhat, but even then, there are a lot of doucehbags there. the sidewalks whisper, "i'm cooler than you, i'm cooler than you". ::vomits:: there are several other factors that go into my hating melrose shopping. since when is it cool for dudes to wear ass-tight pants? besides the fact that it's terribly uncomfortable and looks stupid anyway, it particularly looks stupid if you're not ten inches around all the way down. so not only am i presented with pants that are uncomfortable to wear and to look at to begin with, even if i wanted them i couldn't possibly pull them off. i'm kind of fat around the middle and my legs are... well, chickenlike. loose clothes make josh happy. tight clothes make josh kill himself. they're not my style, and if they were, they still wouldn't be. prices. oh my god. now maybe my views are skewed because i dont go shopping much. and i certainly dont go for the trendiest looks on the rare occasion that i do. but since when is it even conceivable to pay $100 for a pair of jeans? i dont want to pay more than 20. i know thats a totally conservative estimate, and i'll bend in the face of reality, but one hundred damn dollars for ANY article of clothing, unless it's made from talking baby alligators and stitched together with cindy crawford's pubes, is too much. and the help. oh, the help. are salespeople born without the part of their brain that warns them when they are in imminent danger? like, say, when they bug a customer to the point of snapping, effecting a bloodbath? i understand they're doing their job. but when you see a guy in your store, who is OBVIOUSLY uncomfortable, wouldn't you not want to scare him off? we went into this one store, and a girl immediately swooped in to ask if she could help with anything. i started shaking my head and was about to say "just looking, thanks", when jen makes the rookie (if you're shopping with an uncomfortable dude) mistake of saying "jeans for this guy". ok, i'm willing to bite the bullet, maybe this chick can be helpful. THEN. then another broad with a foreign accent ninjas her way in, demanding to know what size. it was at about this point that i decided that i was done with the place. seconds later, we were out the door. the worst thing i heard from a saleswoman was, in reference to a pair of jeans, "they're italian!" what really makes me sick is that that matters to so many people. who fucking cares if they're italian? why would you say that? look at the way i'm dressed. does it look like i care about if something is italian? i hate being helped if i dont ask for it. HATE IT. it bothers me so much that it sours my entire shopping experience, and i will leave a store if they bother me enough. i didn't get a messenger bag because i actually didn't see any, surprisingly. maybe i wasn't looking hard enough. the only ones we saw were at the army surplus store on vine, and i may go back there and get one. they had two i liked; one was a paratrooper messenger bag, and one was a smaller medic pack. i'd sort of like a bag thats not that wide, but i'm afraid it'll look like a purse. today i went to target by myself and bought two pairs of pants with no hassle. they fit better than anything on melrose, and they were cheaper, too. and i didn't have to put up with any brain-damaged nincompoops. i'm considering getting this R2D2 messenger bag, or possibly the "ten ninjas" bag two down. volcanogod v3.0. additionally, hands.
	this. fucking. much.