2001-08-11, 1:55 a.m.

reckless abandon and bjork

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ok.

this entry will be by no means deep or thought provoking. in fact, this will be exactly the kind of middle-schoolish tripe i mentioned earlier. but i have to write this down for some reason.

so i apologize in advance.

ok.

towards the end of the spring semester, i developed a new life philosophy: reckless. abandon. i discovered that i play my best pool when i throw caution to the wind and just go with whatever.

so why not apply it to everything?

so i promised myself and my friends that to exercise this new motto, i would ask out vail, the hottest girl EVER. the theory was that since my chances with her were so slim as it was, being random and just going for it could only help me.

then during the summer i kept putting it off - not because i was afrain, but because i discovered that i didn't care. vail was the kind of girl that every guy wanted, badly, and that every girl was jealous of.

honestly, she is one of the most physically attractive girls i've EVER seen. EVER.

so anyway, in high school she seemed like such an unattainable prize. but over the course of this summer, i realized i didn't really care anymore. i'm so past high school at this point, she doesn't seem like much of a prize.

and then something hit me within the last week. the point of reckless abandon was exactly that - that i didn't care. so two days ago i tried calling her out of the blue to ask her out.

unfortunately i got the answering machine.

no, i didn't leave a message. i've spoken to the girl maybe three times ever, so leaving a message wasn't an option. i was honestly hoping she'd remember me. if she didn't, i really had no chance at all.

so tonite i was at a moderately large party; everyone who was up at UF for the summer term came home today, so we had basically the entire crew together. i got a few words of encouragement from my friends - after all, vail was a prize for them too.

i peaced out early because i have work in five hours (yes, it sucks the proverbial dick). earlier this evening, a friend gave me her IM name to see if she was home or not, and i found out when i got home that she was home. so i thought, why not?

she wasn't there, but i left a few messages basically saying that i'd like to hang out with her sometime because i never got to know her in high school, and left my phone number.

whatever.

but there it was - i did it. its all up to her now. and even if nothing ever comes of it, i can say that i asked her out. not many people have had the guts to try it.

on a completely separate note before i peace out for the night, MTV2 just played pretty much every Bjork video, it was awesome. i got into her the school year, she's incredibly talented. definitely one of my favorite female singers, her voice is unbelievable. the videos included ones from her old band, The Sugarcubes, which i'll have to look into.